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Thoughts on privacy and cancer
Okay, so I started a blog entry while I was waiting to see my oncologist, Dr. Mohamed this morning. I was eagerly anticipating the report on whether I would need chemotherapy or not. I wrote about how it feels to think about losing your hair and all of the other fears that come with chemo.
I’ve cried two times since learning my diagnosis – when I first got the news, and when I realized that chemo was a real possibility.
But it all seems moot now, because I learned that chemo is not part of my treatment plan! This was the absolute best news I could have received today.
This breast cancer patient is doing just fine. I made it through my initial lumpectomy and another very minor surgery shortly after to remove just a little more tissue. Lymph nodes were confirmed negative for cancer and the tumor was confirmed to be less than a centimeter in size. Surgery hurt, but not too much.
And something I feel compelled to share with the world. Please, please, please take this as gospel, whether you work with patients in your profession or simply experience a friend of family member getting diagnosed with a medical condition – respect patient privacy!
Now, I’ve obviously been very open about my own journey through cancer, “coming out” with a blog entry a few weeks ago. It was a natural no-brainer thing for me to do.
But… that was my story to share or not to share, and the same goes for anyone receiving medical treatment for anything. Many a woman has approached me since that blog post telling me she could never be so public about a cancer diagnosis.
And if someone took it upon themselves to “out” me, I would have been more ticked off than I’ve ever been in my life. Believe me – you don’t want to tick off a cancer patient.
So please. Don’t seek this kind of info out on anyone, and don’t share it if you are informed, at least without asking the person if she/he wants to you let others know.
Now I’ll step off my soapbox to celebrate my wonderful news, but before I go, I want to thank the many, many folks who sent words of support over the past few weeks. I firmly believe that all of the positive vibes have helped me to heal and to feel great about my own future!
If you have any tips for people on supporting breast cancer patients as they move through the journey, please share in a comment to this post — your words may help someone else!
Tags: breast cancer, confidentiality
Esther Fabian is the director of health care marketing at The University of Toledo. Although she is a graduate of Bowling Green State University, Esther has willingly traded in brown and orange for the blue and gold. Over her nine years of employment at the institution, she continues to be fascinated by the incredible things that UT Medical Center professionals do every day to help people and loves learning about the many aspects of health care through those exceptional people. Esther hopes to use this journal to give folks a peek into the world of UT Medical Center, and maybe an occasional glimpse into the world of a working mom and owner of many, many pets.
Email this author | All posts by Esther Fabian
August 13th, 2009at 1:03 pm
In regards to privacy, your point is well said. It goes back to what we all learned in kindergarten, “Mind your business please”.
Most importantly, I am pleased to hear your good news. Your strength continues to inspire me; your daughter is so fortunate to have you as role model.
August 13th, 2009at 1:09 pm
Hooray for Eshter!!!! You go girl!!! BTW you comments on privacy too! Honestly, I have enough drama in my own life. I don’t have the time nor the energy to spread someone else’s. Let’s respect our UT Family!!!
August 13th, 2009at 2:16 pm
I am so thrilled for you, what a relief it has to be!!!
Now, would you mind answering a question for me? Being that you were so open about your diagnosis and journey, what advice do you have for those of us who do not know quite how to approach a friend or loved one who receives a cancer diagnosis? I am sure it depends on the personality of the individual and the relationship you have with them, but do you have any tips you can share?
August 13th, 2009at 2:24 pm
So happy you are “kissing breast cancer goodbye” – love the pic
August 14th, 2009at 8:13 am
Thanks for your openess Esther! It allows others to consider whether they may want to do the same….perhaps this is a stress reliever that in turn unknowingly benefits the patient as well. No doubt your positive attitude has benefitted your health as well, keep it up!
August 14th, 2009at 10:44 am
Sharon,
I can only speak for myself on ways folks responded to my news, and here are some things of note:
* This is not the end of the world, so don’t react to the news as if it is.
* Ask people how they’re feeling about their diagnosis and take that as a cue for how to respond.
* Let them know you’re there for them if they need anything.
August 14th, 2009at 12:45 pm
Esther, great to hear you did not need chemo and you are victorious over cancer. The Living God is good! My grandma overcame it twice and my friend’s grandma overcame it three times!!! For those of you who might have anysort of cancer, keep hope, keep fighting and keeping seeking ways to fight cancer in addition to the medical perscriptions. Peace and joy be to all who read this!
August 14th, 2009at 3:07 pm
Being the daughter of a mother who died at the age of 35, and one who is monitored ever so closely in this area; thank you for your openess and frankness in terms of the privacy and respect. Your thoughts I will keep in my personal archive. More than that, Congrats on the most excellent news. Love you and the family!
August 18th, 2009at 9:02 am
Your remarkable honesty & articulate expression never cease to amaze me, Esther. Thank you for sharing your journey – and for sharing your strength. It truly benefits others.
August 18th, 2009at 11:55 am
Esther, I’m so glad to hear all the positives about your diagnosis. You are an inspiration — please continue to write about your experiences as you continue treatment and recovery.
August 19th, 2009at 7:44 am
I have referred many people to The Victory Center and also to That Special Woman. The staff at both places are very supportive and respect their clients and their dignity. Regarding confidentiality-HIPA can be a pain but it does remind folks that your private information should be just that but, of course, if we just remembered the old golden rule it really wouldn’t be a problem, would it? I am glad that things are going so well for you. Thanks for sharing.
August 19th, 2009at 1:27 pm
I agree with you on how to approach someone with cancer….ask them how they are and take your cues from them. No matter if the response is one word or a 5 min discussion, they will know you care. You will understand pretty quickly if they are wanting to talk about things. Who knows you may be the person they seek out when they do need to talk, because you asked them and you showed you really do care!
It is good news that you will not have to go thru chemo! It has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. But the care I have recieved here at UTMC has been great. Everyone has treated me as family.It has made a huge difference in the experience.
Esther, I am sure your openess, today and in the future, has and will help many as they go through this kind of medical issue. Keep it up….you are making a difference!